THE HIDDEN DANGERS OF OVER-APOLOGIZING & HOW TO BREAK THE HABIT.

While apologizing is an important social gesture that can help mend relationships and demonstrate accountability, over apologizing can have negative consequences, such as eroding one's self-esteem and creating a perception of weakness or insincerity.
In this blog post, we will explore the causes and effects of over apologizing, as well as provide tips on how to break the habit.

What is over apologizing?
Over apologizing is the act of apologizing excessively or unnecessarily. People who over apologize may apologize for things that are not their fault, or apologize repeatedly for the same mistake or issue. They may also apologize for trivial things, such as asking a question or making a request.

Causes of Over Apologizing
There are many factors that can contribute to over apologizing. Here are a few common ones:

1. Cultural norms: In some cultures, apologizing is seen as a way to show respect and humility. People from these cultures may feel pressure to apologize frequently, even when they have done nothing wrong.
2. Low self-esteem: People with low self-esteem may feel that they are always in the wrong, and therefore apologize excessively in an attempt to avoid conflict or criticism.
3. Fear of rejection: People who fear rejection may apologize excessively as a way to gain approval or avoid upsetting others.
4. Perfectionism: Perfectionists may apologize excessively as a way to hold themselves to an impossibly high standard of behavior.

Effects of Over Apologizing
Over apologizing can have several negative effects, both for the person who is doing the apologizing and for those around them. Here are a few examples:

1. Diminished self-esteem: Constantly apologizing can make a person feel as though they are always in the wrong, which can erode their sense of self-worth.
2. Reduced credibility: If a person apologizes too often, their apologies may start to sound insincere or meaningless, which can diminish their credibility.
3. Inefficient communication: Over apologizing can make it difficult for a person to communicate effectively, as they may spend more time apologizing than getting their message across.
4. Perception of weakness: Apologizing excessively can create the perception that a person is weak or lacking in confidence, which can lead to others taking advantage of them.​

How to break the habit of over apologizing
Breaking the habit of over apologizing can be challenging, but it is possible with practice and persistence. Here are a few tips to get started:

1. Notice when you apologize unnecessarily: Pay attention to the situations in which you apologize unnecessarily, and try to identify the underlying cause.
2. Be mindful of your language: Instead of apologizing, try using language that acknowledges the situation without taking responsibility. For example, you might say, "I'm sorry you're having a bad day" instead of "I'm sorry I caused your bad day."
3. Practice self-compassion: If you struggle with low self-esteem or perfectionism, try practicing self-compassion. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend.
4. Set boundaries: If you find that you are apologizing for things that are not your fault, try setting boundaries with others. Let them know that you are not responsible for their feelings or actions.

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Conclusion
Over apologizing can have negative effects on a person's self-esteem, communication, and credibility. By understanding the underlying causes of this behavior and practicing self-awareness and self-compassion, it is possible to break the habit and communicate more effectively. Remember, apologizing is an important gesture, but it is not always necessary or appropriate. By being mindful of your language and setting healthy boundaries, you can begin use ‘I’m sorry’ to promote much healthier relations.

​until next time…enjoy!