 It’s that time of year! You know what I’m talking about. That time of year where we all get a fresh start on this latest 67k mph journey around the Sun. Yes, it’s the start of a New Year! I get it. Some of you might be laughing at me for my antiquated thinking and whispering to your friends, “He still thinks the Earth revolves around the Sun?” Forgive me. I was born in Upstate New York on Columbus Day and Yom Kippur, while the New York Mets battled it out against the, you guessed it, my now hometown Houston Astros for the NLCS. If that’s not a foreshadowing of the next 37 years to come, I don’t know what is. And... For those 37 years I’ve avoided New Years Resolutions at ALL COSTS.  But, for year 37, I want to try something different.
Not only that, I’m going to challenge each of you come along with me. We are going to start a new trend. We get to be the 'cool kids' for once. This applies to everyone. Whether you’re like me and gave up on resolutions before ever starting, or you're a true go-getter who challenges yourself to new heights each and every January 1st! So, what's the plan? We are simply going to make ONE New Years Resolution. One statement that will define our new year. This is the statement in which we will turn to when making those difficult decisions or stop and think about before taking a potentially impulsive action. Our goal is to take on a statement that becomes part of our 'Identity'. One that will naturally propel us towards the person we envision ourselves to be. If we take on this trait, our successes follow. (Note: In a future article I will get into the science and psychology as to why this can be more effective than traditional goal setting.) Warning! Before I get into my own example for you to follow, I must add this- We are not redefining ourselves. We want to create a driving force that brings out the best in who we are, not an ideal created by society. I want us to look back one year from now and notice how much progress we made without ever quite realizing it along the way. We simply let the successes pile up and the first thing you may notice is 'waking up energized' or 'lying at night in peace next to your loved one'. Ready to get started? Follow my lead. Instead of explaining how we get to this statement, come with me on a quick journey with me to discover my own. First things first. Let's get real with myself and determine what we are working with. My brain is never short on ideas and I have a natural curiosity that is rarely exceeded. I seem to always find a way to learn new things and can connect with people on a personal level over a Zoom call or in a brief exchange at Hobby Lobby. However, this rapid fire brain can overload me with anxiety and paralyze me from doing anything. My curiosity pulls me in many different directions, while my confidence in my ability to learn leads me to place excessively high expectations on myself, often leaving me disappointed. With ADHD, I will also completely lose interest for periods of time in something that was once the centerpiece of my life one week earlier. Instead of battling this, I must work with this and take advantage of my periods of high output. I also must always be aware of this when estimating timelines and making promises/agreements with others. Lastly, I know that the perfectionism in me causes me to feel shame when I don't meet expectations, and may choose to isolate. That's me. If you haven't thought this deeply about yourself, no worries. Simply state a positive or negative trait then examine the flipside of that trait. The Ying and the Yang per se. This is all well represented by my first attempt at creating New Year's Resolutions -
First, let's flip my 'Resolutions' into manageable pieces that fit our aim of simplifying-
Now, for this exercis, I’m going to scrap this entire list completely and do ONE thing. I, Jeffrey Allyn Hanson, will simply ‘show up’ this year. For me, it’s being true to my word and simply doing what I can. Being honest with myself and not overcommitting. Most importantly, being content with creating what I can on any given day or letting others know what they CAN expect from me as opposed to making promises that are hopeful. I must allow myself to beat expectations and show the vulnerability of imperfection that lies behind the scenes. This is essentially the same as 'not being a perfectionist' but in a positive framework. That's plenty from me. Now it's your turn! I hope you had a little bit of fun getting to understand my own thought process and how I view myself when I lay in bed at night! As you can see, none of these things I just wrote down will disappear from my mind completely, and I'll certainly keep that second list. However, I know that NONE of those things happen if I don't consistently show up. This may seem overly simple to you, but that's why it's MY statement. You may feel like it's not worth your time to go through the steps, but if you are honest with yourself, this won't take long. I'll make it even easier. If 15-20 minutes isn't worth it to you, then your statement might be 'open myself to new experiences, no matter how small'. In reality, we ALL know deep down the ONE thing that is holding us back. This is just a unique way of getting to it. In the least, I challenge to you to go down the same path as I did and ‘just see where you end up’. That’s all we can truly ask from ourselves! Happy New Years! Jeffrey Allyn Comments are closed.
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